And in the beginning there was.......romance

Rule #1 to Men:

NEVER lose the romance with your wife, no matter how much they nag, bitch or whine; because in the end, this one is going to cost ya. Why? Well let's see....they might get insecure and start to think that you're having an affair, they might get lonely and seek affection elsewhere (have an affair), they might get depressed and "let themselves go" because they feel you are not attracted to them anymore, OR they might just add it to your "doghouse list" (doghouse list = stuff you do or say that makes them angry).

I know it's rough being a guy and trying to read our minds and know how we feel and what we're thinking. That's why I'm going to start this blog using my life's experiences and hope that some of you will start cluing in to your significant others hints/behaviours/actions/etc.

So, to get on with Rule #1 and help you keep the romance going.....you know that tingly, lovey dovey feeling when you first fell in love? The one that sometimes made you feel sick to your stomach with nerves when you were getting ready for that next date? How you treated her with respect and the utmost attention, AND were able to remember what she said 5 minutes later...gave her gifts for no reason
 (Example: Leaving an Easter card (that asked her out for dinner) under her windshield wiper while she was at work, with a balloon tied to the antenna )
That's what we want.....and sometimes that romance and attention includes foreplay and sex...and sometimes it DOESN'T. Yes, you read it right...sometimes it doesn't.
 So, learn your partner's cues and LISTEN to what they say. If they've had a bad or stressful day, try to do or say something that will make them feel better about themselves or at least give them your undivided attention.
Example: Actually sit down and watch a movie (any movie) of their choice, and stay awake through the whole thing...WITHOUT making any judgemental comments on it
 (IE: That was so dumb, I'd do her, how can you watch this crap?, etc - Keep your thoughts and comments on the movie to yourself!)
Example: If she has a favorite thing to collect, get something to add to her collection.

I've been together with my husband for 5 years now and married for almost 1 year. I miss the little things he used to do for me when we were dating. Especially when he actually listened to what I had to say and could remember it when I brought up the subject later on. I really miss the foot massages, the unexpected treats/gifts and unexpected phone calls during the day to see how I am.
My husband has in his wallet (a tip for you ladies) a list of things about me...in the hopes that when he buys me a gift, he doesn't screw it up.
This is to avoid the situation where, I can't use his gift or I don't like it; which results in him feeling defeated and me feeling bad because he couldn't remember what I liked and also feeling bad because I made him feel bad.

Things I Included On My List:


Favorite Chocolate:  Kitkat, RussellStover Crispy Easter Bunny, milk chocolate; NO dark chocolate unless it is Ovation/After Eight or Pot of Gold.
Favorite Pop: Pepsi, Hires Rootbeer, Lime
Favorite Smells: Vanilla, Citrus, Peach  
Favorite Foods: Potatoes, Chicken, Corn
Food I Don't Like/Eat: Seafood of any kind, not even tuna; liver or any other organ, brussell sprouts
Favorite Cartoon Character: Betty Boop/ Marvin the Martian
Favorite Flowers: Gerber daisies, bird of paradise
Stuff I Collect: postcards, autographs, antique knickknacks, etc
Stuff I don't like: Anime(with exception to a few movies/shows), littering, open mouthed chewing/smacking, dogs that poop on my lawn, parents who smoke/swear around their kids, etc.
Things I like to do: hike, dance, karaoke, photography, road trips, etc.

Etc Etc Etc..... the point is, create a list ladies and give it to your husband and make them put it in their wallet for future reference. This way you know they at least tried; and they feel better about getting you something that there's a 99.9% chance you're going to enjoy. Relieve some of the pressure off them...and give them credit for trying. (And you know what? Guys, you should do the same for us ladies...though we tend to listen and remember more than you might think....it would help us out from time to time too)

Lesson Learned: I have a new item to add to my list...Smells I DON'T like: Roses and other flowers.....at least when it comes to perfume and bath stuff. This year my husband attempted to do good at buying me Christmas presents. I give him credit for buying the "Romance" themed/named basket of body/bath stuff but unfortunately this is one of those times he failed because ....I failed. I don't recall letting him know of my dislike for floral scents in stuff. So, as much as the thought and attempt was there I came away feeling crappy because I was never going to use his gift. Nonetheless I did recognise his effort! And he gets stars on his "Woohoo List" (woohoo = stuff he did right) and every man in a relationship needs to have a "woohoo list" along with his "doghouse list". :-)

Things that *might* make your girl feel good about herself AND your relationship together:


* Don't stop the foot/back massages
* Be the first one to say "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Valentines Day" to her
* Give her a small gift every once in awhile...that could be as simple as a cool rock for her rock collection, or bringing her a coffee/chocolate bar on your way home.....or something big like planning a surprise birthday party and actually managing to keep it a secret....

(or secretly saving those pennies for the engagement ring instead of a pack of smokes - *hint hint* - and actually keeping it a secret....and actually proposing to her with her family present and maybe some friends...like it should've happened in the first place......oooppsss....hehehehe Think he might get the hint there...... though lord knows when he'd ever save up enough to get me my dream ring...Oh well, guess I'll be happy with my $10 ring I bought myself. ;-p )

On with the list......

* Letting us use something that you would never let anyone else use - huge bonus to you
* Touch - let your fingers walk across our bodies, stroke your fingers along our arms and along our shoulders and necks.....no perversion meant here...just pure relaxation and attention.
* Hang out with our friends.....yes, even if you despise them...and attempt to be polite and enjoy yourself; pretending is fine, just don't put our friends down after they've left.....that'll take you from "wohoo list" to "doghouse list"
* Be honest about our cooking/baking....and let us know where we went wrong (ie: too much salt, etc)..but do it tactfully.....Spitting out the first bite saying it tastes like horsepoo is not going to get you stars. But, if you were to say something like "this is unfortunately too spicy for me to eat OR I don't really like tomatoes.." it lessens the blow. but, we certainly don't want to end up baking/cooking the same thing for you again only to find it in the compost on our next visit.....
* Playing with our hair - unless we're getting ready to go out....most gals like having their hair twirled, brushed, etc.
* Get in real close and give a quick nibble to the neck or ear....in public....or at home....but, in public should send goosebumps up their arms unless they aren't into PDAs (PDA = Personal Displays of Affection)
* Listen to how our day was and respond with caring words - do NOT say anything negative that might make the gal feel worse (IE: "well maybe you shouldn't have done that" or "maybe you shouldn't be friends with them", etc)

Please note: some of these tips may not work for some women, like I said before.. you need to pay attention to your partner: LISTEN, BE ATTENTIVE, READ BODY LANGUAGE  - COMMUNICATE

Best of luck to you all! I'll come back and add to the "How to Keep the Romance Alive" list. But for now, this will do.

   ~XoXoXo  Me


Here's some links to help you out:
Ways To Be Romantic On The Cheap
Sweet Romantic Things To Do
ASKMEN Top 10 Romantic Things To Do  - I do however, seriously suggest staying away from #2 unless you are absolutely sure your gal is into it!
Free Romantic Things To Do
Romantic Things To Do for Your Honey Online
7 Ways to Show your Wife you Love Her
100 ways You Can Love Your Wife, Her Way - I'll be discussing some of the things posted on this page in future posts.
Show Your Love via Esquire.com
Show Your Wife or Husband That You Truly Love Them

Disclaimer/Warning: Any advice or info given is to be used at your own risk!!!! :-)